Dorothy Parker Was Wrong –Men Often Make Passes At Women Who Can’t See

It’s no longer enough to be aloof.  You must be completely unaware. How many times have you bemoaned the amount of work dating entails? All the research, the due diligence, the preparation, the investment in absurd makeup fads, the hours of getting ready beforehand for who-knows-what.  Wouldn’t it be nice if you could attract men with your eyes closed? Don’t just be carefree - abandon all responsibility, and have men flock to meet you. There’s nothing more irresistible to men than a warm welcome from someone totally unavailable.  We’ll show you how with these twelve steps to this eye-catching (and hiding) look.

What you’ll need:

8 oz of white pancake or eye shadow (resist the urge to use sparkles).

1 Black Liquid eyeliner or halloween makeup

1 or 2 Blue, Green, Brown or hazel liquid lip liner, eyeliner or halloween makeup.

1 tube foolproof mascara

4 makeup brushes (water color brushes or turkey basters if you have very large eyes)


1) Call a friend or your “wingman” best gal friend over; this is a look that’s hard to get and give yourself.

2) Put on the “Lady From Ipanema” or other popular standard to get you in the mood to go clubbing.

3) Applying white makeup liberally to a brush,  gently, very gently, apply it to your friend’s eyelids from the tip of the upper lash to the eyebrow bone (just under the eyebrow).

4) Using a different color for the “iris” apply an eye pigment of your choice -blue or green pictured-, or brown in a circle in the center of your closed (!) eyelid. Fill in the circle.

5) Using the third brush add a light amount of black eyeliner to it and draw a circle around the “iris”.

6) Still using the black eyeliner, line the edge of the area of the eyelids you have painted white.

7) Continuing with the black eyeliner put a dot in the center of the “iris” to form the faux pupil.

8) Optionally add black “lashes” to the top of your eyelid – three or so lines 45 degrees  off the line you put at the tip of your lid. 

9) Repeat for each eye, then powder, oh yes, you’ll also need powder.

10) After a moment to let them dry, switch with your friend. And with their eyes open (important!) have them repeat steps 1-9 for you.

11) Make your way (occasionally peeking) to a public place, bar, restaurant, cafe, nightclub, library or park. 

12) Wait for what may be attractive men to approach you in droves. Then open your eyes and see what you’ve caught in your net. 

Annabella Oreksya

A former model from Moscow, Annabella Oreksya does what she likes and wears what Europe tells her. And hopes you will too. 


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