Scene from PASCAL AND PASCALE

Here is a scene from Pascal & Pascale that I wrote for Uneven Distribution.   www.unevendistribution.com
PASCAL & PASCALE.jpg

PASCAL

I am Pascal

PASCALE

And I am Pascale.

PASCAL
MaMa has told us that today we must learn about Nate.

PASCALE
Yes, MaMa falls in love with the television in waves of fours and threes.

PASCAL
I hope that class will not dampen my enthusiasm for the obscure. There is much I would like to learn about mushrooms.

PASCALE
Yes, mushrooms bring us much kindness, and make such clever tools. It is like aluminum foil, but not found as deep.

PASCAL
Papa has said that MaMa is like mushrooms, but not as friendly. He likes to play with our affections so.

PASCALE
Pascal it is time to go to class. Where is Herbert?

PASCAL
Herbert is drunk and without punctuality.

PASCALE
But he will bring us to class. Without it, he will have nothing to complain of. Silly Herbert, he is so shy.

Pascal and Pascale arrive at Broedbecker’s Funderal Home. Today is Bring Your Children to the Morgue Class. The sign reads “putting the “fun” back into funeral homes” Jody the Caretaker stands in front of five children.

JODY
Alright children, as you know there are many video cameras around. If we are lucky, we will be selected by Arts and Entertainment Channel to be a new television show.

PASCALE

Who are you?

JODY
I am Jody, who are you?

PASCAL

She is Pascale. I am Pascal

PASCALE

And I am Pascale.

PASCAL
We are twins, but MaMa says that we were born on different days

PASCALE
We do not believe her because daddy says that mother likes to drink with whorish indifference.

PASCAL
But we do not believe him because it is the look that he fell in love with. He only blames himself however, because she cannot help it.

JODY
That’s lovely. Do any of know why you’re here today?

PASCAL
We are here to learn about Nate.

PASCALE
Yes, and to discover if disjointed ideas can be pieced together to form a compassionate dialogue for the begrieved and besotten.

JODY
No, you are here today to learn about the important work of funeral caretakers and their employees. Who wants to play a game?

The children all raise their hands jumping up and down.

EVERYONE

We do! We do! We do!

The scene changes into a large living room where there are a number of coffins arranged in a circle.

JODY WITH CHILDREN
Ring around the coffin, Similar to golfin, Ashes, Ashes, We’ll someday fall.

The children all scramble to get into a coffin. Pascal is left out. He starts to cry.

JODY
What is the problem Pascal?

PASCALE

And I am Pascale.

PASCAL
I do not like this geme. It is made for small unintelligent children.

JODY
What game would you like to play?

PASCAL & PASCALE 

THEY KILLED NATE!!!!!

JODY
I haven’t heard of that game. How do you play?

PASCALE
How very American of you. We do not know how to play games, we only know their names. Look Pascal, I made a poem.

PASCAL

You are so very clever.

PASCALE
I know, but often there are times when Mama wishes for me to be beautiful, but there is not too much time for me to be beautiful. Perhaps if I had breasts, there would be nipples for when I am dead. Now is the time for skipping.

The two of them start to skip in slow motion. The scene changes.to the children all coloring in their books.

JODY
As you see chldren, death surrounds everything, even the very colors of the rainbow.

PASCAL
They tried to make us color in daycare, but I believe that color should be on money, and not on canvas. I do not like color.

PASCALE
That is why we are not allowed there anymore. Oh look Pascal, this little indigent girl is wearing leather shoes.

JODY
And what is wrong with that?

PASCALE
When I go to a parade, I am shocked by the amount of people wearing shoes. Do they not know that it is a parade, and therefore a time to walk about without leather? I hate animals and want to see them dead, but not on shoes, that is unkind.

JODY
Okay children it is time for us to enter into the psyche of the funeral home director. The first step in understanding is to acknowledge grief. Come into the video room and we will watch movies.

There are clips from Ol’Yeller, My Dog Skip, and documentary on Alaskan Canneries.

PASCALE
Excuse me young man, but when are we going to learn how to decorate a funeral home? MaMa has emphasized that I should pay attention during that period, and I would not like to disappoint her like her hair dresser Le-Ong. There was a time when Le-Ong had AIDs, which made him move back to his home in Montana. Now MaMa cannot find anyone with AIDS who will cut her hair. She blames the Democrats, because they invented haircuts, but do not support them socially in order to win elections.

PASCAL
Someday, I will be a Democrat and give AIDs and Haircuts to everyone I know. I cannot hide behind my baseball cap forever.

A mobile phone rings. It is some removed Parisian tune that make the children dance. The song ends and the children stop dancing.

PASCALE
Pascal, you have forgotten to answer your phone again.

PASCAL
I am sorry, let me call them back. Look Pascale it was PaPa.

PASCALE
I love when PaPa calls, he is so friendly and good humored.

PASCAL
PaPa has a boyfriend named Serge. Someday I will make my papa proud and have a boyfriend too. Now I will call him.

Pascal calls on the phone.

PASCAL (CONT’D)
Hello PaPa, how are you? Yes, I see. I see, I see. Yes, I understand. Yes I am very patient, ever so more patient than Pascale. No, I will not be disappointed. No PaPa, I will be brave for you. Yes, I know that it is hard for you. No PaPa, I will not hate you. No, I promise I will not hate you. Yes PaPa, there is much to consider, and I will not do so lightly. There are many times when I have questioned that as well. Yes PaPa, the are so many times when I do not have all of the answers either. Okay PaPa. PaPa, do not cry, there will be other times in life for us. PaPa, do not be sad, for I will smile enough for the both of us today. You will see PaPa, I will smile so that the whole world will think that we are happy. Yes PaPa, I love you very much more than MaMa ever could because she’s a thieving whore too. Yes Papa, I will call at two to wake you up. Yes PaPa, goodbye.

He hangs up the phone.

JODY
Pascal, is your father alright?

PASCAL
No, he is not. This morning he went into Crispy Cremes, but all they had were Dunkin Donuts. It has destroyed his morning.

PASCALE
Poor PaPa, I have told him that his lust for pastries will be his downfall.

PASCAL
Yes, it is true, but his anger towards Atkins has given him new energy, don’t you think?

PASCALE
Yes, that and his anger towards MaMa.. At this, MaMa shows up. She speaks very bad French.

MAMA

Enfants, il est temps d'aller

(Children it is time to go.)

PASCALE
Hello MaMa, today was so much very fun. Thank you MaMA, thank you MaMA.

MaMa ignores Pascale and goes over to kiss Pascal on the forehead.

MAMA
Je vois que vous sentez très bon

(I see that you smell very good.)

JODY
I’m sorry ma’am, but the day is not over.

MAMA
Ne me tente pas avec votre fluide d'embaumement, Iam ne se sent pas très bien.

(Do not tempt me with your embalming fluid, Iam not feeling very well.)

PASCALE
You must excuse our MaMa, her French is very provincial in a Quebequianesque manner, but we do not care, for she is our mother and we must love her or she will read to us the bible from beginning to end until our stomachs cannot eat any food. That is why I think that the Catholics are lucky because their food is their religion, but without all of the words in between. Who wants a snack?

PASCAL 

I do.

Kamau enters holding shopping bags.

PASCAL & PASCALE

Kamau!!!!! YAY!!!!

KAMAU

Who wants biscotti?

PASCAL & PASCALE

Yay Biscotti!!!!!

KAMAU
We must hurry before Au Bon Pain closes.

PASCAL & PASCALE

YAAAYYYY Au Bon Pain!!!!!!!!

The next shot is of Kamau holding the children’s hands, MaMa follows behind smoking and carrying her shopping bags.

Scene