things are not as they appear
When Shakespeare was a Muslim, his mother came to him out of despair and asked him to write a story about a girl and a horse that had tragically been mistaken for a type of vintage French wine. The horse and the girl were not familiar with each other and had in fact never grown up in the town where their false identities were recorded. (cont.)
I’m old...like not-many-zits-to-worry-about-on-my-face because my face is too old, old. I get that, and I’m not bored or disappointed in this fact. I find, however, that when I place my old face amongst much younger, more zitty faces, that a phenomenon starts to appear in front of my not so bright eyes. I call it Yesappearing and it goes something like this. (cont.)
It doesn’t really make any sense to pursue the adjunct professor at a row boat rally. I mean what do you hope to gain? The professor only got that way by being practical, and there’s more than enough water to get in over one’s neck. I suppose that’s something to consider, but who wants to carry a life jacket through the rain? (cont)
It seems to me that the best way to get rid of all of the riddance is to make sure that the sale is not too complicated. Just stick out your tongue, aspire to make some jelly out of jam and be done with it. You can’t pretend that all of the things that you put down in order to pick up other things were that great to begin with. I’m not saying that we should have more or fewer arms, but there is an argument to be made for more pockets, which is why I’m trying to put together a way of folding over my clothes so that it appears more inclusive to the masses. (cont)
We found this on July 10, 2015
Bottle found in Falmouth Harbor
Dear people of the further (future) my name is Liam rite now it's probably the year 3000 so I must be bead by now so a lot of the have cars might fly insted of having wheels. and house must be flyin to right now it's 2014. Well I hope you enjoyed my letter from Liam
So the Shadow Norwegians killed and ate the Estonian shadow dogs. International incident to ensue.
Ouch
Apparently there are going to be live shadow dogs- awesome!
Waiting for the show...
More to follow.
Issue 14 is our least sustainable, most insecure issue to date, and goes ON SALE TODAY!
It's our MAKEOVER AND OUT ISSUE
Yes, it is magical....
yeah...
Check out my friend Tom Christopher as he creates new paintings with Andy Hammerstein in front of crowds at Times Square (4pm-10pm for the next 10 days).
Tom Christopher starts a new painting.
The Dress Hanging out in a storefront
Pets Spread
This is some of the original artwork that Leif came up with for "THE ONCE OVER"
Spaghetti- I mean really, who eat’s spaghetti any more?
Graftabl- DOS this
Noumena- The intellectual conception of a thing as it is in itself, not as it is known through perception.
Aoudad- Wild Sheep of Northern Africa
Jillions- A very large indefinite number (usually hyperbole)
Hoydenish- Used of boisterious girls
Gingivae- The tissue (covered by mucous membrane) of the jaws that surrounds the bases of the teeth
Drogher- No Iceberg needed
Horse-Droppings- Insert poop joke here
Junglandales- Falls underneath the subkingdom classification of Tracheobionta.
The only thing creepier than being there is driving on the road....
Dr. Pepper- a month's supply...
Behind a barbed wire fence, where it should be
From our upcoming Rag, entitled “The Ignorance Issue”, we’re going to publish a new article every Tuesday from now through November.
Unlike our competition, (Vogue, Cosmo, Elle, Lucky, CWPaulaD,) we’re not afraid to tell you where to shop, what to wear, who to talk to, who to sleep with, how to sleep with them, and when to pee.
Beginning every Tuesday, you’ll have the opportunity to submit your photos and comments for that week’s article. From your images and unsure voices, our editors will assemble the World’s First Non-Virtual Lunchzine, Insecurity Ragazine, We Know What’s Wrong With You