Columbus the Day

Good Ol’ Columbus

 

It’s Columbus day, I’m not on an airplane, and there’s nothing more satisfying than proudly looking upon this Italian American answer for St. Patrick’s Day, highlighted by a not so nice man that traveled halfway around the world and claimed he was the first one to do it.  In all fairness, anyone who traveled halfway around the world without knowing that he wasn’t the first one, was probably a bit crazy to begin with, so I’m not really buying the argument that we shouldn’t honor his accomplishment because he was mean.  He had to be.  How the hell do you do what you do without being mean?  And the fact that he either killed or took advantages of the nice, kind savages that he met along the way is also not a reason to disparage him.

The Wrong Queen

The Wrong Queen

When Shakespeare was a Muslim, his mother came to him out of despair and asked him to write a story about a girl and a horse that had tragically been mistaken for a type of vintage French wine.  The horse and the girl were not familiar with each other and had in fact never grown up in the town where their false identities were recorded. (cont.)

Yessappearing

Yessappearing

I’m old...like not-many-zits-to-worry-about-on-my-face because my face is too old, old.  I get that, and I’m not bored or disappointed in this fact. I find, however, that when I place my old face amongst much younger, more zitty faces, that a phenomenon starts to appear in front of my not so bright eyes.  I call it Yesappearing and it goes something like this. (cont.)

bald

Bald

It doesn’t really make any sense to pursue the adjunct professor at a row boat rally. I mean what do you hope to gain? The professor only got that way by being practical, and there’s more than enough water to get in over one’s neck. I suppose that’s something to consider, but who wants to carry a life jacket through the rain? (cont)

Rainy Days and Installs

Rainy Days and Installs

It seems to me that the best way to get rid of all of the riddance is to make sure that the sale is not too complicated. Just stick out your tongue, aspire to make some jelly out of jam and be done with it. You can’t pretend that all of the things that you put down in order to pick up other things were that great to begin with. I’m not saying that we should have more or fewer arms, but there is an argument to be made for more pockets, which is why I’m trying to put together a way of folding over my clothes so that it appears more inclusive to the masses. (cont)

a real message in a bottle

We found this on July 10, 2015

Bottle found in Falmouth Harbor

Bottle found in Falmouth Harbor

Dear people of the further (future) my name is Liam     rite now it's probably the year 3000 so I must be bead by now      so a lot of the have cars might fly insted of having wheels.   and house must be flyin to      right now it's 2014.  Well I hope you enjoyed my letter from Liam

10 Words You Don't Need to Know

Spaghetti I mean  really, who eat’s spaghetti any more?

Graftabl- DOS this

Noumena-  The intellectual conception of a thing as it is in itself, not as it is known through perception.

Aoudad- Wild Sheep of Northern Africa

Jillions-  A very large indefinite number (usually hyperbole)

Hoydenish- Used of boisterious girls

Gingivae- The tissue (covered by mucous membrane) of the jaws that surrounds the bases of the teeth

Drogher- No Iceberg needed

Horse-Droppings-  Insert poop joke here

Junglandales- Falls underneath the subkingdom classification of Tracheobionta.